Growing Up HurtS

When I was a child, I hope that I ll grow up faster and faster. At those days, I admire looking at those big sis ang big bro rushing for their activities.I always want to be a part of them... experience it.I always think that growing up is an enjoyable things to go on.
Things ll not goes on as what u think it would be....

Now, I got my "dream comes true". But, I discovered that there are not what I expected. Those beautiful, pretty, interesting proceess of growing up was just a imagination.Growing up is indeed a painfull challenge. We need to turn ourself from a little pampered child to a mature teenager.
I have been struggling to cope since I stepped into secondary school. I force myself to be strong, to be mature, to solve my problems and to be independent. There was really difficult!!! Sometimes when problems seem to swallow my patient, I just hope that I could cry like a baby and dont bother about all the troubles.I was overwhelmed by the tremendous changes in life.
Changes and changes.... Some was GOOD but some was SUFFERING
As the matter of fact,I can't stop the changes.... what I need to DO??? The only thing I have to do Is to acquire....Being a high school student, parents and teachers expect so high towards us.I am force to drag myself out of my comfort zone and stand by my own feet.

My friends and I was drifting apart.The new background, New subjects, new topics... combine vf the different experiences, different need, different feelings.... Is all different.
Everybody was busy for their own routine and activities. Though v are in the same school or even same class, there have no communication among us.Even a smple HI or Bye may not meet it. Somestimes I really confuse about what should I do and what I shouldn't.Should I follow the crowd and be part of them. Or maybe should I meet all their demands??? Should I tell out what I disagree of?? Should I show How I feel??? I know that it ll hurt my friends or make our friendship getting worse.... I wanted to have a happy atmosphere among all my friends. I hope... wish.. praying..... to maintain it!!!!! but then the fate seems to go to the opposite direction.

I wonder if I'm being too sensitive or petty, but it really hurts. I feel like I'm missing out a lot.
I tried to cover my face vf a mask.Eventually, I got use of it. But, the problems havent solved yet..... it just getting worse!!!! I dont like to show my feeling....even to my friends whom I really care about. I have no idea what make me so hard .... maybe the gap of time?? the misunderstanding?? the passive?? What was really wrong??

Bottom-line is, I would like to change the situation.... change the atmosphere of discomfort.
Is my true soul calling me?? Can I rely on my senses?
I wish I would find my true self and do well in the things I like!!!