Blank.

A blank page.
Just like my future. A blank page.

Interest Or Reality?

I am bound to be true to myself
I always confine truly to myself
But reality is the one who make things complicating
I cant contemplate complexities that life throw to me!

I hesitate. I wonder. I lost.
Does the sacrifice worth the redemption of satisfaction?
Does the belief worth to be believe?
Why does moderation invites challenges that I do not foresee?

In the midst of complexities...

The Misconstrue

{Dialogue}
Doctor: Tan Keng Yean??
Me: Ya. Doc, I am having sore throat and flu
Doctor: Ok, let me check ur body temp n blood pressure first
A moment Later
Doctor: No fever. but your heartbeat rate is fast [hr: 130/min]
Me: So what is the normal heartbeat range?? **getting nervous
Doctor: I recomemd u go for ECG test in room 6. And we ll c the result later
After ECG test
Doctor: The heartbeat is normal, just that the beat rate is too fast
Me: ** Remain silent
Doctor: You are susppect to have THYROID.
Me: ** What ?? Thyroid??
Me: What are the symptoms of getting thyroid?
Doctor: Palpitation, shacky hand, lose weight, trauma..
Me: Ya,ya my hand tremble quite often. But I am gaining weight instead of losing weight.
Me: Is that serious?
Doctor: If untreated there will be critical.
Me: ** rigid worried look
I keep asking question related thyroid as I am so worried.
Doctor: I cant tell u anything now. You are required to do blood test to check is a positive or negative result.

This incident make me worried for the whole night, until i cant fall asleeep. I start to think nonsence.. many if IF ef EF .... over my blank brain.

My brother take the trouble fetch me here and there to go for blood test, seek for another doctor just to prove that whether I am diagnose with thyroid or not. Appreciate all the things my family did for me. Also, thankful to my close friends: ping, fa, pui n ying that concern for me.

Finally the result is out. It's a NEGATIVE result. I am NOT diagnose with thyroid.
Thank god! Finally relief..