Ever got to know

Ever got to know that i ll away from my home
Ever got to know that i ll study here
Ever got to know that i learn more that i should
Ever got to know that i should solve those silly conflict
Ever got to know that i have been growning up through the process
Ever got to know that i knew someone that really in the same boat
Ever got to know that i actually regret my decision
Ever got to know that i change to a big girl, with more mature thinking
Ever got to know such annoying fellow and force to stick with it
Ever got to know that i ll gain much attention from others
Ever got to know when the happiness and sadness come with me
But for sure, I am working out hard to do my very best in life!

My trip back to hometown

This time was my first time to reach kl at night.

Wednesday:

Around 10sth, i reach pudu raya bus station. Kinda miss the way back, as if i havent back to kl very long... It seem tired for the bus trip but worth it!!

I dunno why i have such feeling.... but JUZ FEEL IT!

Went dinner and supper with my parents at mamak~ Suddenly, missing mamak stall in kampar that i usually visit- Ghany!

Thursday:

Went out with sis and cousin sis to buy my high hill for presentation! but I bought nothing at the end~hehe(",) I am really choosy!
New tv in home-SONY Bravia. 32 inch LCD tv really nice! But i used to have no tv in life. For me it really doesnt matter how big is the TV.

Friday:

Doing research for my public speaking presentation.. I need FUNNY MOVIE to add to my slide show! But, I cant find any... haiz..
VIRUS attack my laptop again~ promises that no pen drive from others unless emergency!!
Study for my chemistry, next week is the test! die....
having steamboat dinner with my old buddy.. kinda miss them!
Btw, realise that many things is changing as i am too...
looking forward to meet jy and my tomorrow as about 2months didnt meet them!

Things has not been fine!

----- Juz feel lack of motivation -----
---I wanna shout to the world----
------------Am I doing the right decision for myself-----
---What can make me happy everyday-----
----------Do I really surpass myself------

Am I good enough to handle all the obstacles?

All this question arise to me everyday...
I cant give a pretty good answer to it~

I miss my past, the way i used to be

the one that always tresures my friends

the one that lives for my own

the one that always realise what am i doing

the one that always get support from my family

the one that i used to be.......

My life in University

The word hectic would be the most suitable word to describe my life in university.
Study at UTAR is not my first choice at first, but due some specific factors i got to make it my choice. When I was in secondary life, I always look forward to have a university life.However, reality is always the oppose with the imagination. Things is not going on as what i really imagine it.A bit of disappointment as i realise the whole image of my university life.
Firstly, I am not as tough as i think when i am away from home!I actually feel lonely in the crowd.Maybe i have a different way of mindset with others.I like to day-dream about my future.Unfortuntely, my dream ll never turn out to be the reality.Is just remain a story in the fairy tales.
I even lost my direction of my future.Am i capable to do wellin my course?? tHat's the biggest question hang around in my head!Sometimes, I do feel that i am too confident to myself and forget about my weakness! Then, when things turn out to bad, I only start to realise my sillyness in doing things.

Growing Up HurtS

When I was a child, I hope that I ll grow up faster and faster. At those days, I admire looking at those big sis ang big bro rushing for their activities.I always want to be a part of them... experience it.I always think that growing up is an enjoyable things to go on.
Things ll not goes on as what u think it would be....

Now, I got my "dream comes true". But, I discovered that there are not what I expected. Those beautiful, pretty, interesting proceess of growing up was just a imagination.Growing up is indeed a painfull challenge. We need to turn ourself from a little pampered child to a mature teenager.
I have been struggling to cope since I stepped into secondary school. I force myself to be strong, to be mature, to solve my problems and to be independent. There was really difficult!!! Sometimes when problems seem to swallow my patient, I just hope that I could cry like a baby and dont bother about all the troubles.I was overwhelmed by the tremendous changes in life.
Changes and changes.... Some was GOOD but some was SUFFERING
As the matter of fact,I can't stop the changes.... what I need to DO??? The only thing I have to do Is to acquire....Being a high school student, parents and teachers expect so high towards us.I am force to drag myself out of my comfort zone and stand by my own feet.

My friends and I was drifting apart.The new background, New subjects, new topics... combine vf the different experiences, different need, different feelings.... Is all different.
Everybody was busy for their own routine and activities. Though v are in the same school or even same class, there have no communication among us.Even a smple HI or Bye may not meet it. Somestimes I really confuse about what should I do and what I shouldn't.Should I follow the crowd and be part of them. Or maybe should I meet all their demands??? Should I tell out what I disagree of?? Should I show How I feel??? I know that it ll hurt my friends or make our friendship getting worse.... I wanted to have a happy atmosphere among all my friends. I hope... wish.. praying..... to maintain it!!!!! but then the fate seems to go to the opposite direction.

I wonder if I'm being too sensitive or petty, but it really hurts. I feel like I'm missing out a lot.
I tried to cover my face vf a mask.Eventually, I got use of it. But, the problems havent solved yet..... it just getting worse!!!! I dont like to show my feeling....even to my friends whom I really care about. I have no idea what make me so hard .... maybe the gap of time?? the misunderstanding?? the passive?? What was really wrong??

Bottom-line is, I would like to change the situation.... change the atmosphere of discomfort.
Is my true soul calling me?? Can I rely on my senses?
I wish I would find my true self and do well in the things I like!!!